What does the Bible say about friendship? 

The Bible passages below can be used in sermons, prayers, pastoral care, or worship planning focused on friendship. 

Language of friendship 

While the biblical authors have a great deal to say about human relationships in general (consider, for example, the fifty-nine "one another" passages in the New Testament), they seem to be less interested in friendship in particular. Here are two important exceptions: 

• Proverbs 17:17, love of a friend (a friend loves at all times) 

• John 15:13-15, self-sacrificing friendship (the greatest love is to lay down your life for a friend) 

Examples of friendship 

While the language of friendship is scarce in the Bible, examples of friendship are not. Those familiar with the biblical stories might think first of classic duos like David and Jonathan or Ruth and Naomi. Wesley Hill, however, directs our attention elsewhere. In his thought-provoking book Spiritual Friendship, Hill points to the relationship between Simon of Cyrene and Jesus as the best picture of friendship in the Bible. 

The encounter between these two men is brief. Luke's account, the longest of the three in the synoptic gospels, is a single sentence of just nineteen words in the Greek text (see Luke 23:26, Simon carries Jesus' cross). But Hill insists that Simon's willingness to carry Jesus' cross and to be his friend in a time of dire need is iconic of what Christian friendship can and should look like over the long haul. 

Sermon ideas about friendship 

Facebook friends 

What can a sermon on friendship say about our relationships? Aelred of Rievaulx, a 12th century English monk, said that true friendship should begin and end in Christ. Yet, many of today's friendships fall far short of that description. 

At last count, the average adult Facebook user has around 338 "friends." These contacts consist of high school classmates who live halfway across the country, third cousins and other long-lost relatives, and crowds of co-workers and other acquaintances from past lives. These people are privy to pictures of our family and our political opinions and updates about our weekend plans. In so many ways, they are invited to peek into the windows of our lives. And yet, these virtual friends can be ignored or even unfriended and wiped from our lives with the click of button. How might these virtual friendships both reflect and shape our understanding of what it means to be a true friend? 

Human hungering for friendship 

In his book on friendship, Hill observes that there seems to be widespread agreement that friendship is the least constrained, least fixed of all human loves. Friendship is frequently viewed as a voluntary, opt-in/opt-out relationship that depends only on two people's mutual enjoyment. Many people accept this as normal in both their virtual and face-to-face relationships. 

Hill, however, attempts to raise the bar. He argues that not only do we want more from our friendships, but that the gospel demands more from our friendships. True friends must be willing to carry each other's pain and commit to one another for the long haul. (Hill even suggests that the church should find ways to solemnize these commitments.) Quoting Paul Wadell, Hill says Christians should take friendship so seriously because their understanding of friendship is rooted not in human perfectibility but in a faithful God who never stops loving us, no matter what. 

Could it be that this kind of friendship — challenging though it may be — is exactly what so many of us are hungry for?